Ever since I have been more open with my lack of religious belief, people have been asking me why it is so. Before I could even open my mouth to properly reply, people ascribed that I have family trouble, I am sick, or that I am angry with god/s. They aren't interested in my reasons, they just want me to have some sort of life problem so that they can stereotype me as angry, scared or misunderstood. This is because they don't want to hear a point of view that is radically different to theirs. They are scared and mistrustful of me. Personally I don't really know why, I am generally a harmless individual. Many scholars have ascribed different reasons for this but I will address them in another article.
People want to ascribe just one particular reason for my lack of belief but as with most things in life that is not true. There can be dozens of causes for something, just as my atheism. Thus I will need to make a series of posts exploring my reasons for quitting faith, for it is vast. My reasons for being an atheist are numerous, but first a background of myself is necessary to give context. I was born into a quasi-liberal Catholic family. But unlike most Catholic families mine was different. My father had been born into the Hindu tradition but converted to Catholicism to marry my mother. He, like most converts was quite fanatical in a lazy sort of way. His siblings however did not convert and thus I had uncles and aunts who were Hindus. I also had relatives who were Hindus from my mom's side. Thus my family was not exactly homogenous in their faiths. This played an important role in my de-conversion. I also lived in an eclectic neighborhood of many faiths, there were Christians, Hindus, Animists, Muslims, Buddhists, etc which was very important for me.
I imagined God to be some benevolent being looking out for our best interests. There was no contradiction between the different religions around me, I assumed they were all real and each had a sense of innate goodness.
One of the clearest memories of my childhood happened in the kindergarten, on September 11, 2001. My family was surrounding the TV late at night. Planes had flown into the World Trade Center, (I had no idea what that meant, all I saw was smoke coming out of two big looking buildings), tiny shapes were falling out of the building, (I didn't realize what they were at the time, but I learnt years later they were people jumping to their deaths not wanting to choke on the smoke) and finally the two towers collapsed. My family were gasping, shocked. Thousands had died. Over the coming days the news channels revealed the identities of the men involved in the terrorist act. The words they used were "religion", "Islam", "Jihad", " fanatics", etc. (I had Muslim friends so I understood a bit as to what they meant). Men of God had been involved in the slaughter, I was confused. News after that constantly talked of wars, of impending attacks, of death, (I had no sense of geography at the time so I was terrified of being caught in one of such attacks). At the time, being a child I could not comprehend the events that were happening fully but they played a major role in life and the life of many atheists till this day. I am a part of a generation who saw planes fly into a building and watched thousands die, all in the name of God by men of God.
Soon however, I some how rationalized that since Muslims had been involved only Islam was capable of such attacks. I moved on blissfully with my life, my faith slightly shaken but not destroyed.
This may not have de-converted me, but for me and I believe for many others it played an important role in their future de-conversions.
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