Sunday 17 July 2016

The "Nice guy" Bullshit

Every now and then, and more often than I care to remember, people around me whine about "Nice Guys" or "Nice Girls", finishing last. Most often this is associated with romantic or sexual relationships. You all know the "Nice Guy" stereotype from popular media, like Leonard from Big Bang Theory. ( Yes I know such shows are good at lowering IQ but occasionally they can be fun)

The sad part is that people actually start taking this stereotype as reality. They actually think that jf they are nice to person whom they are attracted to, they are entitled to sex or a relationship. They disregard lack of compatibility, common interests or even lack of reciprocal feelings. They simply believe that by showing common human decency they are entitled to privileges. This is mainly a problem that women of any orientation face when looking for a partner. However on occasion men too can be a victim.

No person owes anybody sex or a relationship ever, no matter what.

In my experience, people who call themselves "Nice Guys/Girls" are usually nothing nice. They usually hide behind their sickly sweetness to compensate for their lack of social skills (Lack of social skills doesn't mean a person will be a "Nice Guy" but "Nice guys" tend to be people with such traits. Social anxiety and autism is not to be stigmatized and is manageable). Any time anybody tries to burst their bubble by rejecting them, they often lash out by verbal, physical or even mental abuse. Stalking is also very common. All this is of course not healthy or reasonable behavior.

I am not saying that people should stop being nice to people, just that they need to stop attaching strings in exchange for niceness. Be nice for your own sake and not simply as a means to get into someone's bed.

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